Silence and fear

Dear B,

memories, they tend to hide.

Though most of our acts are directed by our memories,

we are convinced of our freedom of choice.

But we are nothing but puppets on the strings of our past experiences.

Only at times we realize that the present always reflects the past.

At these moments we do remember.

There also might be memories that have to be buried deep down,

because we wouldn’t survive being confronted with them

without support by somebody outside of ourselves.

“Silence and fear.” These two words stick out of your mail.

The photograph you sent me is very touching. It is so tender.

And you are so open and full of trust. It is a photograph to dream about.

Because it visualizes a part of our never-ending desire:

to be close to somebody.

There is your pain. You probably don´t want to be confronted with it,

and you, this might be, don´t want to confront yourself with it.

Probably you  want to forget all about it.

But it is there. It will stay.

One day, you will feel loved again.

A soothing layer will cover your present pain,

and you will be healed. And this pain you want to forget about,

then will  turn into a melancholic memory.

This is how it could be.