
a day after my father died, lean was born

mr dutchman starved himself to death
on mourning

Photograph: 13.05.2026
I observe myself. I realize that it's not my father's death that hurts me. We lost each other years ago.
In 2006, after years of fighting, I broke off contact with my father, only to re-establish contact with him in 2019.
We never spoke to each other again about what had happened back then. I didn't want to rekindle the old arguments.
It would simply have been pointless.
What really hurts me is that we have remained strangers to each other most of our lives.