still alive
the father I was once angry with no longer exists
the old lady and the carer
I happened to be in the room when the carer came in with the old lady to get her ready for the night. He stripped her naked and cleaned her up underneath, regardless of me me being there. I should have walked out, but I just put my hand over my eyes so she could see that I couldn't see anything.
He touched her quite roughly, didn't respond to the fact that she was obviously uncomfortable, didn't respond to the fact that she was scared.
He just did his job without responding to her feelings, without responding to her protest, to her fear, to her pain. He, the carer, was not deliberately being almost brutally unkind to this needy woman, he just didn't know any better.
For the old woman, as she told me afterwards, it was just something she had to put up with, just no way around this.
I was there and I didn't help her.